Hey there, beautiful humans. Welcome back to the Stacey M Show. I am your host, Stacey Munzenberger, your mindset disruptor, mom, lawyer, clinical hypnotherapist, and all the other things. But today I want to talk to you about something that has been on my mind this week. So my thirteen-year-old daughter, who's nearly fourteen, is currently in Fiji with her school, living her absolute best life. She's snorkelling, she's exploring, she's pushing her boundaries, and she's also helping the community by... Hang on, I'm going to start that, sorry. living her absolute best life, snorkeling, exploring, pushing her boundaries, and helping in the community by working in the fields, learning about the environment, building houses, and goodness knows what. It's a service trip. And as I was starting to miss her maybe just a slight little bit because she's over like ten or eleven days or something, I think it is, and I was scrolling through the photos that they're sending us, and something kind of hit me. And it was how many opportunities am I saying no to because of fee or comfort zones or that little voice in my head that's saying, but, you know, what if? Sorry, I've got the teleprompter too slow. So yes. Here's the thing. While my daughter is out there saying yes to an adventure, yes to experiences, yes to growth, and I know that she doesn't quite have the responsibilities that an adult has, but I realise that perhaps unconsciously I've been saying no to opportunities in my own life. And I probably bet that you have too. So today I thought I would dive deep into the opportunities you may be rejecting before you've given it some consideration or before you even realise it. So because here's what I know from going through with working with so many different people, the biggest regrets aren't about the risks we took. It's usually about the chance that we never gave ourselves. So the risks that we didn't take for whatever reason usually is because of fear and it's the unfamiliar. So we are more scared about what that failure could be than what the great result could be from that. And to get a little bit vulnerable for a the FBG trip, I did ask her. My first instinct was not quite sure. But, you know, I was pretty confident that the school would have been, you know, handling it like above board and it was all going to be fine. So they've got things to consider like the cost, the distance, what happens if something happens. It's only a four-hour flight, but, you know, it's not like we can drive there and pick her up or anything. You know, just kind of all the mum stuff, right? And it's probably dad stuff too, but I'm not a dad. I'm only a mum. But then I'm like I was about to let my concern rob her of an incredible opportunity, and she wanted to do it. So it's not like we forced her to go do it. She wanted to go do it. So she is now like three thousand kilometres away or something. And she is hopefully having the best time of her life. And, you know, how many times do we say no job opportunities because we're focused on what could go wrong instead of what could go amazingly right? That is what we are programmed for. Not what can go right, what's going to go wrong. And the thing is, I know this personally. So had I not taken the chance and gone out on my own to start my first legal practice nearly ten years ago, I wouldn't be where I am today. Had I listened to the person who said I was too dumb, I wouldn't be here either. And I wouldn't be talking to you right now. If I didn't go out on a punt and start the podcast a month ago, I wouldn't be here either. So I play a lot of what I do down. But when I kind of think about it, I have done quite a bit. But there's definitely things I've been saying no to because, you know, that fear is creeping in. But, you know, that leap into starting your own business or for me, my own legal practice was terrifying. I remember sitting in the car going, holy crap, when am I going to get paid again? Like that was where I first went. People had questioned it. Someone told me I wasn't smart enough. But saying yes to that opportunity, despite the fear and despite the doubters, that's what led me to build not just one legal practice, but two legal practices, a mortgage broking business. This is where I'm coming from you today. an entire platform where I get to help one on many and help you transform your lives. So a little bit about the psychology of no. Saying no to opportunities can be a pattern. So our subconscious mind is wired for survival, not success. It's designed to keep us safe, not really to help us soar. So every time an opportunity presents itself, Your brain is running like a rapid-fire risk assessment. And here's the kicker. So it weighs potential losses about twice as heavily as potential gains. This is called loss aversion, and it could be what's helping you playing small. But here's what I want you to understand. That voice saying, what if it doesn't work out, needs to be balanced with, but what if it does? And let's talk about the opportunities you're saying no to without even realising it. So it could be something as simple as a networking event that you might be saying no. I don't know anyone there, but that's exactly why you should go. Every successful person I know that has a story about the random conversation, that changed everything. That was definitely for me. That was a B&I meeting, I don't know, over ten years ago now. that really led me to where I am today. You might be wanting to do a course or some training. It might be I don't have time. But if you have time to scroll through social media for an hour, if not more, each night or each day, what have you invested that time in your growth instead of the endless scroll? Having a scary conversation. So whether it's asking for a raise, whether it's setting a boundary or having a difficult discussion about your relationship, avoiding it is choosing the status quo over your potential. That creative project. I'm not good enough, but I'm not good enough yet. Here's the reality check. You're never going to feel ready. There is never going to be a right time. It's like waiting for the perfect time to have a kid. Usually there is no perfect time. So as I said, the podcast that you're listening to right now, there was no way in hell I was ready to do it. But I'm like, I'm just going to get out there. And you know what? Let's see what happens. And twelve months later and over a thousand downloads, I must be doing something right. So the businesses I've started, the programs I started, you know, it's all the same thing. So maybe you want to start a business. So it might be, what if I fail? But what if you don't? What if you're exactly what the world needs and you're being selfish because you're not sharing with the world what you know and what can help people. So when I started my legal practice, I had no guarantees. I literally was sitting in the car going, holy fuck, when am I going to get paid next? Like that was the first thought I thought. It wasn't anything else. And I did think of that before. you know, until I was sitting in the car. But I had something more powerful, thankfully, and the belief was I could just figure it out along the way, which, you know, happens, you know, I think throughout your whole entire life. But especially in a family law situation, clients who stay in situations that aren't serving them because leaving feels too scary and uncertain. And I completely get that. But here's what I want to tell you, if this is you, the cost of staying the same often exceeds the cost of change. So yes, divorce or separating is challenging. Yes, starting over is scary. But staying in a relationship that is slowly killing your spirit, that is not safety. That is a slow death. And there are so many different things that can come from that from resentment to mental health concerns to like, Absolutely everything. So a reframe is not something that's going to happen overnight, but something I want you to consider. So instead of asking yourself, what if this doesn't work? Flip that a little bit. So ask the question, what if this is exactly what I need? What if this opportunity is here because I'm ready for it? What if saying yes to this changes everything? What if the person who doubted me was wrong? And chances are that person is probably not worth even associating with, but your brain will somehow find evidence for whatever question you ask it. So just ask better questions. I'd ask it on the flip side. So from what, you know, possibly the great things that can happen, the typical pros and cons list, because I can guarantee you the pros are probably going to be better than the cons. So I'm going to call this the Fiji principle. named after obviously Lil who is living it up in Fiji at the moment. But every opportunity that you say yes to creates space for more opportunities to find you. This is whether you're in business or not. It applies to everybody. Whether you say yes to that networking event, that you might meet somebody there that introduces you to somebody else, which is exactly what happened to me when I started my legal practice. So have that conversation not have taken place I'd say there's a fair chance I wouldn't be here today. When you say yes to that course, you'll gain skills that open doors to things that you didn't know existed. When you say yes to starting your own business, yes, it's not all fun and games and robes and unicorns, but you discover that you have capabilities that you never knew you had. When you say yes to that difficult conversation, you create space for a deeper connection or a necessary change. So here's what I'd like you to do right now and like, Right now, now, not like next week now. So while you're listening to this, I want you to think of just one opportunity you've been saying no to. So maybe it's sitting in your inbox. Maybe it's a conversation that you have been avoiding. Maybe it's a dream that you've been dismissing because somebody told you that you couldn't have it or it wasn't worth doing or whatever. Now, instead of listing all the reasons why you can't, I want you to list three reasons why you should. Three potential positive outcomes. Three ways that this could move your life forward. And then here's the crucial part. Take one small action towards that yes before the day is over. If you listen to this at twelve o'clock at night or eleven o'clock at night, I give you permission to do it the next day. But it could be something like sending an email. It may be sending a text, making a phone call, filling out an application, booking a consultation. proving that data wrong. So something I did for me is I filled out a consultation form to get my nose looked at because I've been complaining about it for years. I had delayed it because I've watched too many episodes of Botched, but I finally have submitted a paperwork to get a consultation with my nose so I can breathe. But so that is what I have done this week. But beautiful humans, life is not a dress rehearsal. You get one life. That's it. While Lil is out there collecting memories and building confidence and gaining skills in Fiji, that reminds me that we all have our own Fiji writing. That reminds me that we all have our own Fiji waiting for us. The question is, are you going to say yes to it? Your future self is counting on the decisions that you make today. Where you are today is a result of the decisions that you have made in the past. If you're not happy where you are, what got you here is probably not going to get you there. So you need to work out what's going to move you forward for that. Don't let fear make those decisions for you because it's probably going to win the majority of the time. And definitely don't let somebody else's limiting belief about what you're capable of make those decisions for you. The caveat to this is I don't want you to do something that isn't aligned with your values or something that you genuinely do not want to do, not because it's unfamiliar, but it's something that you don't want. Somebody might have told you that, you know, you should go out of business. Maybe that is something that you literally do not want to do. So I'm not saying go out and do something that you don't want to do. I don't want you going out and saying yes to everything as well because we are all busy humans as it is and that will lead to burnout. Just start with the one thing. Just start with that one step and just keep putting the next step in front of the other and see where that goes. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. And remember, if you're going through a separation or a divorce, you don't have to navigate it alone. Please check out my Empowered Separation Program because sometimes the scariest yes leads to the most new, beautiful beginning. So until next time, keep disrupting those limiting beliefs and say yes to your extraordinary life. And if you have taken that step, please reach out, whether it's on social media or email or whatever. I would love to hear what that step was and what the result was. So enjoy the rest of your day. Thanks for tuning in again, and I'll catch you next time. See ya.
