So now I've filmed the podcast. Let me put my phone on D&D. See if you can fix up the mess behind me. Sorry, one day I will be organised. Because I'm bringing everything home from the office from Aqua too, I'm getting more shit, not less shit. So, sorry. Yeah, we can clean that up a little bit. That would be great. Thanks, Jim. I should see if I can play with the scenes. I don't want to do that now in case I break something. Hang on. Maybe I should. New scene. Maybe I can't do it when I'm recording. I'll, yeah, because obviously it looks pretty messy. So, yeah, if we can somehow just cut out that crap down the bottom, that will be good. Otherwise I'll see if I can just put a different background on there until I sort my life out and the shit out. Okay. Anyway, so I want to start with something that might sound unexpected. I don't say Fuck you to cancer. And I know that phrase helps a lot of people. It's strong. It's defined. It gives fear somewhere to go. Sort of that's your language. I totally respect it. But I saw it the other day and I've been thinking about it and it's not mine. Because cancer didn't arrive as some random invader from my outside life. For me, it arrived in me, in my body, in a body that has carried a lot the past forty-three years, a body that has worked hard, pushed through, held everyone else together, often at the expense of itself, of me. And I can't go to war with something that lives inside the same body that I'm asking to heal. We love war language when it comes to an illness. Fight it, battle it, beat it, win or lose. And, you know, I'm sure I've used the same terminology in my journey and I can understand why. War language makes us feel powerful when we feel powerless. But it also, I believe, does something quite damaging and I think it splits you. So it says your body has betrayed you. So it says, your body has betrayed you. There's an enemy inside. One part of you must be destroyed so the rest can survive. And I don't think that sits right with me. Not that I've ever had to think about it before, but just processing things now because my body hasn't betrayed me. It has protected me for forty three years. So when people say, fuck your cancer, what I hear beneath that is, might be like, fuck you, body. And I don't want to speak to myself like that. And I'm not saying that the people that say that do either. It's just that I've had time to process what's happened, that these things are starting to come up for me. um and you know the honest part is yes it has set me back it set me back um back physically emotionally practically these school holidays have been crap for my kids like there's there's no romanticizing any of that but at the same time this was the shove that i needed to start practicing what i've been wanting to preach The one I probably wouldn't have listened to otherwise because like so many different people, my health had been sitting on the I'll get to it pile for years. And you know what? I have been pretty lucky. But it's really important and I postponed it and I postponed it a lot. I acknowledged it, but still didn't prioritize it. And if anything, this diagnosis has made one thing super crystal clear. My health does not get to take a backseat ever, ever, ever, ever again. Not to work, not to productivity, not to being capable of being reliable and strong. Never, ever again. Just waiting for the teleprompter to catch up. And I also want to say this very clearly. I know that I'm lucky. I know I have access to great care here in Australia and information and support. I know that the odds are in my favour and I know that not everyone gets to say that. Some people don't get early detection. Some people don't get good outcomes. Some people are not in good countries where they have access to great health. Some people do everything right and still don't win. You know, they still pass away or they can't overcome their cancer. So... So this isn't me saying if you think differently, then you'll be okay. That's cruel. That's untrue. What I'm just simply saying for me and what suits me, and this might not suit you and that is completely fine, but I'm only just, as I said, starting to process like for the past few months. But given where I am now, Now, right now, this is how I'm choosing to respond to this diagnosis. And for years, I've been learning about root causes. So like stress, hormones, nervous system overload, inflammation, lifestyle patterns that look functional from the outside but are quietly draining you from... the inside and i've known this stuff intellectually for a long long time but knowing and living it and not the same thing and this is the year i stopped masking symptoms No more just managing pain or fatigue or anxiety or burnout and calling it, this is normal. You're now forty-three, Stacey. You have children. You have these businesses. Like, fuck it up. This is just how it is. No more band-aids without curiosity because prevention really is better than cure. and root cause is even better still and this experience has stripped away any illusion that i can afford to ignore the early whispers of my body ever again and this isn't about blame it's about responsibility in the truest sense of the world and it's my ability to respond so That is why I don't say fuck you to cancer. As I said, this is my opinion purely. This is just my thoughts on what my journey is on because I don't want my healing to come from rage. I want my healing to come from awareness, respect, regulation, long-term change, me saying sorry to my body for doing this. Thank you for carrying me through for all these years. I will not take you for granted again. I can take treatment without hatred. I can accept medicine without aggression. I can support my body without declaring war on it because you know what? My body isn't weak. I'm actually feeling pretty good and I'm probably about midway through treatment. So I have been coping and I have been making changes in my life, which I believe have reflected how I'm feeling right now. and you know right now my body doesn't have to cope alone anymore because i the penny has finally dropped but um you know we're told that strength has to be loud and that if you're not angry you're not serious enough or that softness means that you're soft and you're not fighting and you know i don't buy into any of that some of the strongest decisions i have made in this process have been quiet ones and i will share them but you know i am choosing rest like i would never have done that i'm choosing boundaries i would never have done that i'm choosing to slow down when my identity was built on speed like i people know me because just i'm always there getting shit done um and you know what not anymore you know that's and taking that those boundaries and everything that's not weakness that's maturity and me realizing that all of that would have led up to where i am today so i hope that explains why i don't say fuck you to cancer instead i'm saying i'm listening i'm paying attention and i'm changing how i look So this has no doubt interrupted my life, but it was needed to correct my course. And while I didn't choose the diagnosis, I'm choosing what comes next. So health will no longer sit at the bottom of my list. It is my foundation. I'm finally trading that way. It's going to help me help you guys out there as well in your journeys and everything that I've been trying to I suppose, to do for the past few years with all the different learnings I've done. So I've been kind of looking at my therapy and everything else that I've done. I truly think this has happened. I don't know how it happened for a reason, crap, but this has happened and I'm choosing to respond in a way that I know that I can help others, I suppose. So... Hopefully that has not offended anybody. As I said, if you say fuck you to cancer, as I said, I probably said it as well. I'm just choosing to use different terminology to be kinder on myself and to start to reprogram myself as like, well, you know what? No, it's not fuck your body. You've done a pretty good job the past forty three years. I've been a little bit poor. Let's fight this together. And then, you know, let's never have to go down this path before. And anything I can share with you guys, definitely I have been incorporating stuff, as I mentioned before, in my journey, which I will be sharing. I'm clearly not a doctor or anything like that. It's just more holistic methods that I've incorporated into my treatment, which obviously you need sign-off for everything, so don't go too crazy. But, yeah, I honestly think that... You know, it's happened for a reason, but it's definitely what I needed to stop me in my tracks and stop thinking that I'm invincible because I'm not. If you don't have your health, you know, it's not going to be a fun ride. So happy to share the conversation offline. thank you for listening. Please share it with someone. If you know that they're going through cancer or carers as well, carers in this situation, I think probably have it harder than us because it's hard for them to know what to do. I think I've done a couple of emails on that with my community. So make sure you sign up if you haven't um if you haven't joined our community yet but uh the carers as well is something that i'm going to be just putting together just helpful things so um you know take it don't take it some might resonate some might not but i've been pretty open with my journey online as well so again thank you for watching and i um yeah i will catch you the next episode take care guys and please make sure you book in for any overdue checkups all right take care bye
