So I want to talk about something that will change the way people experience you and, more importantly, the way you experience yourself. It's this. Stop reacting emotionally. Start responding intentionally. Now, easier said than done, but stay with me. And before anyone thinks I'm saying suppress your feelings, I'm not. Emotions are data, reactions are decisions, and there is a difference. When someone criticizes you, when an ex sends a provocative message, when a colleague undermines you, when a family member says something loaded, your body reacts before your brain catches up. Your heart rate rises, your jaw tightens, your shoulders lift, your voice sharpens, That's not showing any weakness. That is just biology. But he is the power move. Just because your nervous system activates does not mean you have to perform that emotion. And this is where body language becomes everything. There's a well-known study by psychologist Albert, I'm going to probably duff his surname, Maharabian, apologies if I've said that wrong, that suggested that communication is made up of approximately seven percent words Thirty-eight percent tone of voice and fifty-five percent body language. Now, that stat specifically applied to emotional communication, not all communication. But the principle does still stand. People read your posture before they hear your point. They read your breathing before they register your argument. They feel your regulation before they process your logic. If you want influence, regulate your body first. So let me give you a real-world example. You're in a difficult meeting and someone says something that's unfair. The reactive version of you leans forward, interrupts, speaks quickly, voice is tight, energy is sharp. The responsive version leans back slightly, shoulders down, Breath is slow, pause, lower tone at a more measured pace. It's the same message, but completely different power. When you slow your body, you slow the room. When you hold eye contact calmly, you communicate with certainty. When you don't rush to defend yourself, you signal confidence. High conflict personalities arrive on visible reactions. If they can see they've hit you, that is when they start to feel powerful. But when you don't flare, when you don't over-explain, when your body stays steady, it unsettles the chaos. And here is something most people miss. Your body language doesn't just communicate outward. It also communicates inward. When you deliberately lower your shoulders, when you unclench your jaw, when you sit upright instead of collapsing, you send a signal to your brain. I am safe. I am in control. This is nervous system leadership. And it is trainable. You can do it. Here's a practical tool for this week. Before responding to anything that may be emotionally loaded, plant both feet on the floor. Drop your shoulders. Take one slow breath in through your nose. lengthen the exhale, then speak. That pause might only be like three seconds, but it shifts you from a reaction to a response. Another powerful tool is what I call the neutral face. So no eye roll, no smirking, no raised eyebrows, no visible agitation. neutral does not mean that you are weak neutral means you are contained and that containment is power now let's be clear You are allowed to feel anger. You are allowed to feel hurt. You are allowed to feel frustration and whatever it is that you are feeling, but you choose where that energy is expressed. It's not in the courtroom. It's not in the negotiation. It's not in the boardroom. It's not in the text message thread. Process it later. Make sure you do process it though. Don't forget about it. Don't suppress it. Journal it. Move it through your body. Talk to somebody safe. But in the moment that matters, stay steady. because calm is not passive. Being calm is strategic and the person who controls their emotional expression controls the interaction. So here's the truth. Anyone can react. Kids react. Egos react. Unhealed wounds react. Leaders respond. When you react, you're being controlled by the last thing that happened to you. It could even be an escalation of things that have happened to you that day. But when you respond, you're being guided by who you have decided to be. You do not have to prove your intelligence in the moment. You do not have to defend your character in the moment. You do not have to win the exchange in the moment. You win by staying regulated because the calmest person in the room is usually the most powerful. And I know that can be really hard. I get it. But here's also what most people don't realise. When you refuse to react, you force the other person to sit with their own behaviour. Silence becomes a mirror. Stillness becomes a boundary. Composure becomes authority. So this week I would like you to practise something intentional. When the text comes in, when the comment lands, when the tone shifts, Instead of tightening, soften. Instead of speeding up, slow down. Instead of rising to it, rise above it. Not because you're suppressing, but because you are choosing. You are not here to be emotionally hijacked. You are here to lead yourself. Respond. Don't react. That in itself is self-mastery. That is power. That is strategy. And once you master that, very little can shake you. now as i said i know this is easier said than done i know that circumstances are different i know that you might be dealing with a partner or whoever it might be and you know the first time you do this they um You know, it may continue for a little while. So I'm not saying you're going to do this once and the situation is going to change. That highly likely will not happen. But the more that you practice this, the more that you don't give them that bite that they are looking for, you know, the whole grey rock method. you know, that I have in my narcissistic playbook, being boring as batshit, not having the reaction that they want, they will eventually get bored and they will go find somebody else to annoy. But as I said, it's not going to happen instantly. But if you master your emotions and you don't react with your emotions and you still process what's happened, we're not suppressing anything, that will be another podcast, but you will come out on top. So I hope that has helped. Please forward this through to anybody who you think may be needing to hear it. Make sure you also subscribe to our podcast so you don't miss any new episodes. But any questions, please reach out. Otherwise, please enjoy the rest of your day and look forward to hearing from you as to how this goes. All right, take care, guys. Bye.
