Hello. My hair's getting dark, isn't it? I need to learn different hairstyles. whoo. One of the strangest things about going through something big in life is how quickly the world expects you to go back to normal. What if trying to go back to normal is actually the thing that's holding us back? Maybe whatever normal is was never actually the goal. We spend so much of our lives trying to get back to normal after something difficult has happened. So in my case, after cancer. So it could be after any illness. It could be after burnout. It might be after a relationship ends, after life throws something at us that we never saw coming. and people often ask sometimes with the best intentions so are things back to normal yet or when are you getting back to normal or why are you not back to normal yet like as if we're doing something wrong but what if the life we had before wasn't actually the life we're meant to return to? What if the experience that we went through changed us in a way that meant normal simply doesn't exist anymore? And maybe it never did. And maybe that's not a bad thing. There's a strange pressure in society around normal and You have to have a normal routine. You have to have normal productivity. You have to have normal energy levels, normal expectations, normal, normal, normal. insert whatever here and there's this quiet message that once the crisis of whatever it is has passed that you should be able to slide straight back into the life that you had before back to the same workload back to the same pace back to the same version of yourself back to insert here but you know what I don't think life actually works like that and I'm okay with that Big experiences can change us. Small experiences can change us. You know, sometimes we're changed physically. Sometimes we're changed emotionally. Maybe if both of them, and often it's in a way that makes us see the world completely different. And I was trying to come up with an example of what I'm trying to get across, and I'm hoping I've done it. So I have been thinking about this, and I guess I'm liking it to say renovating a house, whether you've done it before or not, the concepts are the same. So imagine you have lived in a house for years. You know every room. You know how everything works. exactly where things are belong you can probably close your eyes and you know find your way around the house quite easily but then say something major happens one day so maybe there's a storm maybe there's some damage maybe the foundation shift whatever it might be and suddenly that house that you know so well needs some work so you effectively have two choices you can try to rebuild it exactly the way it was before so going back to normal or you can step back and say you know what if i'm rebuilding anyway maybe i can design it differently so you know maybe you open up a wall maybe you change the layout maybe you create spaces that actually suit the life you're living now maybe you bulldoze the whole fucking thing and start from scratch like It can be whatever. But, you know, that house, that home is still yours. It's just not the same as what it was before whatever this event was that has happened. And, you know, sometimes it's better for it, like I said. And so if we're applying that to our normal lives, I think you can explain it as life being a little bit like that. So when we go through something big, it shifts our foundations. It changes how we see things. And I shouldn't keep saying something big. Something doesn't have to be big. It could be anything. But, you know, it changes how we see things in that what we prioritise, what we tolerate, what we're willing to give our time and energy to. And yet we can put enormous pressure on ourselves to go back to the exact version of life that we've had before. and you know maybe the goal isn't to rebuild that same house again and maybe the goal is to take this opportunity to design something new a a new rhythm a new pace a new version of life that actually fits who you are now and i think the truth is normal was never fixed anyway and who said normal was even good maybe normal wasn't good you're just going through the motions you know think about your life ten years ago it was different for me it was different i'd you know i my girls were very very young back then and um go back five years ago you know it was probably different again you know my girls were a bit older i might have picked up a business i was halfway through owning my legal practice you know stuff changes um you know even a year ago you were probably living differently to how you are today and you know life constantly evolves And I have a saying, you evolve or dissolve, you know. But when change comes through something difficult, we suddenly feel like we have to undo it. Like it hasn't happened. We need to rewind the clock. And, you know, sometimes growth just doesn't work like that. Maybe it's not meant to work like that. So sometimes you move forward into something new instead. And, you know, that can be scary and that's unknown, but maybe that's what you need to explore. So if you're in a season where things don't feel whatever this normal is yet, I would like you to hear this. You are not behind. You are not doing recovery or life wrong, whether it was through an illness or whatever has happened. You may simply be in the process of redesigning your life after something has changed you. And that's okay. And that takes time. And maybe the real work isn't getting back to what your old normal was. Who said that was working? As I said before, maybe it's having the courage to build a life that fits the person who you've become. because, you know, maybe normal was just never the goal. And I hope this episode has helped you. If you are in a shift, as I said, whether it's something big, something small, it might be through a relationship breakup, illness, You might just be in funk. You might be having your midlife crisis, whatever the heck that's meant to be, whatever it might be. Or if you know someone that might be in a little bit of a funk at the moment, please make sure that you send this podcast. I can't even speak English today. My phone is going off as I'm recording this. Go, Stacey. not um putting in an airplane so i do apologize if you can hear that um but i i do hope this podcast has helped i said please uh share it with people but just share it in your network you don't know who is going through what but if there's someone specific in mind please send this through uh to them because i really want them to find what their new normal is and know that you know finding different normals um is also okay too there is no rule book of life um you know if you want to change something up then you know you you change something up and if people are um you know not liking what your new normal is and that's on them that's not on you and maybe those people who aren't supporting your life shouldn't be there you shouldn't be wasting energy on them so um just food for thought but as always if there's a particular topic that you want me to have a chat about, please let me know. Otherwise, please enjoy the rest of your day, your week, depending on when you're listening to this, and I'll catch you next time. Bye.
