Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Stacey M Show. Today I want to talk about anxiety but also not talk about anxiety because I think the word has become so overused that half the population now either thinks anxiety labels every uncomfortable feeling as anxiety or completely dismisses what they're experiencing because they think, well, I'm still functioning, so I must be fine. Now, I am not a doctor. These are just my observations. So I just want to make that clear. Meanwhile, you're exhausted. You're snapping at people. You are doom scrolling at midnight, you're avoiding emails, you're procrastinating, you're waking up with a tight chest, you're replaying conversations from two thousand and nine and you're mentally operating like forty seven tabs are open in your brain at once. Or you have forty seven tabs open on your computer like I do. And actually, I think I have more than forty seven. That is why I want to also want to reframe anxiety to maybe using the word overwhelm because the words that you tell yourself can also play a really big effect on you because sometimes anxiety doesn't look like a panic attack. Sometimes it might look like I can't think straight, I don't know where to start, I'm emotionally tired, I feel like I'm behind in life, I'm carrying too much. And right now, a lot of people are quietly drowning while still replying, ha ha, yep, all good. You kind of laugh it off. And we live in a world where our nervous systems are getting hammered all the time. So your phone's going off, there's bad news, which is exactly why I don't read the news. There's financial pressure, there's relationship stress, there's, you know, you're trying to be productive all the time, you're trying to heal, you're trying to parent, you're trying to work, you're trying to exercise, you're trying to meal prep, you're trying to meditate, you're trying to drink more water all at once and somehow... still you answer with an acceptable and still trying to answer text messages and emails with an acceptable social time frame, which is pretty well instant, right? And it's like being emotionally stalked by notifications all the time. And the problem is most people are trying to outthink overwhelm. But overwhelm is not just a thinking problem. It's also a nervous system problem. And your body starts believing you are under constant threat, that constant fight or flight, which I know all too well. And even when you're sitting safely on your lounge, you know, you think the day has ended and it hasn't. So today I want to give you some practical quick wins, nothing fluffy, no just relax, babe advice, real things you can actually do when your brain feels like it's hosting a rave party at two a.m. So first quick win, stop treating every thought like a fact. I think this one is pretty huge. So an anxious brain is basically an unpaid intern with Wi-Fi access. If you want to link it with something, it throws out worst case scenarios constantly. What if I fail? What if they're angry at me? What if something goes wrong? What if I've ruined my life? And your brain's job is survival, not happiness. So that's automatic. That's how your brain goes. It's trying to keep you alive. So instead of thinking, is this thought true? Ask, is this thought helpful? Because some thoughts are just mental junk mail, spam mail. And you do not need to emotionally RSVP to all of them. Second one, sorry, two fingers, not one, reducing visible load. So a lot of overwhelm is not just one giant thing. I know in my case, it's, you know, it's ninety three tiny little open doors or your tabs or whatever it might be that all just combine into one thing. So it might be the form you haven't filled out. It might be the laundry mountain. judging you from the corner and today's raining so your laundry you know might even be bigger than usual you know it's an appointment that you need to make it's a text that you have to reply to that you haven't replied to and your brain keeps trying to hold on to all of this at once and so one of the fastest ways to reduce overwhelm is to externalizing it so write it down so i still have a paper diary I have a calendar, whatever works for you. And it doesn't have to be in a perfect color coded productivity system. Just get whatever it is out of your head. If it's a scrappy post-it note, stick it on that. But your brain is always, your brain is for thinking. It's not for storage. I mean, it is for storage, but for thoughts like that, you want to write it down. Third, stop feeding your nervous system rubbish. And I don't mean food, but that also plays a part. What are you consuming all day? Because if your morning routine is wake up, go on your phone, bad news. You know, you're right there as soon as you open up Facebook or whatever. You're comparing yourself to strangers online. You've drunk three copies. You've copies. You've drunk three coffees or three Red Bulls. You've skipped breakfast. Then you start to wonder why you feel shaky and emotionally unstable. That is your nervous system basically sitting there like, man, sir, respectfully, WTF. What are you doing? And that is usually a daily occurrence which will somehow come up, sorry, which will eventually catch up with you. So your environment matters more than you think. Music matters. Sleep matters. People matter. What you watch matters. Not everything deserves access to your nervous system. Quick win number four. Learn the difference between danger and discomfort. So this one has helped me a lot as well. So a lot of people avoid things because they feel anxious doing them. It could be a hard conversation. It could be setting some boundaries, might be leaving a relationship, might be trying new things, being seen, making decisions, whatever it is. But anxiety does not automatically mean don't do it. Sometimes it simply means, okay, this matters. This is important. This is unfamiliar. This is growth. Your nervous system often treats uncertainty like danger because it's trying to keep you safe and that's what it's meant to do. But uncertainty and danger are not the same thing. Sometimes the path to peace first feels like it's uncomfortable because it's not familiar. So have that in mind. Quick win, number five, that is four fingers. Five, you can so tell this is not filmed using AI, absolutely. move your body before trying to move your mindset. So You can't always journal your way out of a dysregulated nervous system. Sometimes your body needs another exit door. So it might be a walk around the block. It could be a stretch. It might be just shaking your arms out. It might be dancing really badly in your kitchen like nobody is watching. And honestly, even if they are, good for them. I've actually started to do that. My girls think I'm crazy. I did it when we were shopping yesterday. I can't remember what store we're in, maybe Supre. And my girls just laughed at me. So I don't know whether they were ashamed of me or not, but that's one that I've been doing. So stress chemicals can be physical. So sometimes calming down starts with just movement, not over analysis. Quick win number six, stop waiting to feel fully ready because it's probably never going to happen. And this one is especially important for people who stay stuck in overwhelmed cycles, which we are probably all guilty of. Anxiety often tells us once I feel calm, confident, certain, or the moment is right, then I'll act. That confidence usually comes after the action. It's probably because it's also an unfamiliar situation. It doesn't usually come before it. So if you wait until you feel zero fee to make the call, the relationship, launch the thing, do the thing, set the boundary, have the conversation, you may be waiting forever. And courage is often just anxiety wearing work boots. Have a think about that one. Quick win number seven. I think I've given up trying to hold up my fingers. So give yourself fewer battles. Some people are emotionally exhausted because they are fighting absolutely everything. So you are fighting reality. You are fighting timelines. You are fighting other people's personalities, fighting traffic, fighting the past, fighting the future, fighting themselves. And sometimes peace starts with asking, what can I stop wrestling with? Not everything needs your emotional energy. And the emotional energy aspect is something I've really been concentrating on, especially since my cancer diagnosis. So some things need acceptance. Some things need boundaries. And some things honestly need to be left behind. you know, unread by your nervous system. And I also want to say this. If your anxiety or overwhelm is persistent to be affecting your daily life, your relationships, your sleep or ability to function, please reach out for professional support. As I said, I'm not a doctor. I'm not a psych. These are just things that I know have helped my clients and myself. And there's absolutely no shame in asking or needing help. So strong people don't avoid support. Being strong is not going through this without support. Strong people use the tools that are available to them. And sometimes healing is not one giant breakthrough. Sometimes it might be drinking some water. It might be going outside. You could be saying no to something. Like that can be really hard for some people. You could be getting that support. You might be taking whatever that next small step is. and teaching your nervous system that life is not an emergency one moment at a time something else i've started to do which i have just popped in my head which i didn't write down in my notes is is this going to matter in five years five weeks five days five hours so i use that with my girls as well so if you're stressing about something try to break out of that and go, is this going to matter in five minutes, five hours, five days, five weeks, five years? Changes are probably not. So that is another one that I use. As I said, I forgot to write it down, but it just didn't pop in my head. Sorry, Jim, I've got to go back because my... So if today's episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who may also need it. You don't know what people are going through behind closed doors because I also know there are a lot of people walking around looking fine while internally buffering like a frozen Netflix screen and I too was one of them and I'm not ashamed to admit it. And remember, please subscribe so you don't miss any future episodes. Hopefully this has helped and I'll catch you next week. Bye. Okay. Thanks, Jim.
