Hi everyone. Welcome back to this week's podcast. Today I want to ask you a question that sounds pretty simple, but I think it has the potential to completely change the way that you make decisions. And it's probably something maybe that you've never thought about before. And that is, what are your values? So not the values that you think you should have, not the values that your parents have taught you, not the values that society rewards or thinks that you should have, and not the values that look good on Instagram. Your actual values. So Something pretty interesting that I guess I have noticed over time is that the people who seem the most overwhelmed, exhausted, frustrated or stuck often aren't struggling because they have too many choices. They're struggling because they don't know which choice aligns with who they are. And I'm completely guilty of this as well. And when you don't know what matters most to you, every decision can feel that little bit harder. Every opportunity can feel a little bit more confusing. Every relationship can feel draining, draining, draining. Every crossroad can feel, oh my goodness, can feel overwhelming. I'm having a classic Stacey day today. So today I want to help you identify your values and show you how they can become one of the most practical tools that you can have. So first of all, what is a value? A value is simply something that matters deeply to you, not something that you've been programmed because that's not necessarily right either. But it is the lens through which you can see the world. It is the thing sitting underneath your decisions, whether that's consciously or unconsciously as well. So for example, some people might value security. Some might value freedom. family, growth, adventure, connection, achievement, maybe. And none of those values are right or wrong. And I think the problem starts when we live according to values that don't actually belong to us. So the way that we have been programmed by our parents and the people that are around us. And you do see it all the time because it does come up when you're speaking with people and whether that's from a family law perspective or whatever perspective. But You know, someone could also say that family is their highest value, but they never spend time with their family. So that's conflicting. Someone says that health is important, but every decision they make puts their health last. And we all know what I think about putting your health last. Someone says that peace matters, yet they continuously allow chaos into their life. And what we say we value and what we actually value can be different things because our actions generally tell us the truth. And on reflection of today's podcast, I have been asked, you know, what matters to you? And I've had that asked to me multiple times. And then you start to list things. So back then it was probably my businesses, my kids, success, whatever that means. It's very subjective. Helping people has always been important. on my list for like a very long time. Financial, security, I probably would have said health but I know that I didn't adhere to that health value. Freedom and then, you know, the next question was can all of those be number one? And the answer is no because something generally has to be be sacrificed, I suppose. And we have seasons, and we have all that as well. But what I also eventually realized is that values aren't just about identifying what's important. It's about prioritizing what's important. And that can change depending on what season that we're having. Because life will probably regularly force you to choose between them. So you might have to choose between money and time, for example. You might have to choose between growth and comfort. It might be peace and people pleasing. It might be achievement versus health. And when these moments arrive, your values become your compass. And I think so many people are living according to old values as well. So values that they inherited or that they were programmed with rather than consciously choosing your own values. So maybe you grew up believing that success meant working harder than everybody else. maybe you learned that your worth came from being useful to other people maybe you learned that saying no was selfish maybe you learned that rest had to be earned and then one day you wake up completely exhausted and it's um not because you're weak It's not because you are failing, but it's because you're trying to honour values that don't fit the person you've become, whether they're your values to start with or whether they're all values that you've outgrown. Because sometimes growth isn't about becoming someone new. It's just giving yourself permission to stop being somebody that you're not. So to turn this into a practical lesson, I want you to grab a piece of paper or your remarkable or your notes on your phone, something that you can write some stuff down. And I want you to write down ten things that matter to you. If you can't think of ten, it's okay. Just do your best. And I don't want you to overthink it like most of us do. I just want you to write whatever comes down in your head. Then I want you to narrow it down to five of those things. Then once you've done that, I want you to narrow it down to three of those things. And then lastly, I want you to choose just one of those things. And I want you to ask yourself, if everything else disappeared, what is the one thing I would want guarding my decisions? So to help you about it, for example, it might be peace. It might be freedom. It might be connection. It might be health. And we all know what mine would be. It could be integrity. It might be family. It could be growth. Whatever it is, I want you to write that down again. Because once you know what your highest value is, decision making becomes much easier. So whenever you're faced with a difficult decision, I want you to ask this. Which option aligns most closely with my values? I don't want you to ask what will make everyone happy. I don't want you to ask what people will think. I don't want you to ask what looks best from the outside. But what aligns with what matters most to me? This doesn't make every decision easy. That's not what I'm saying. But it should make them a lot clearer. And often clarity is what we have really been looking for. So one of the things I have realised over the last six months at least, but I probably knew it before that, but just more mindful of where I'm at with my life, is that our values can change. So the version of me from ten years ago, even seven months ago, valued different things than I do today. And that's okay. The version of me before I was diagnosed with cancer valued different things than I do now. And as I said, that is okay. You have permission to do that. Values don't have to be permanent. They are meant to evolve as we do. And there comes a point when you stop asking, how much can I achieve? And start asking yourself, how do I want my life to feel? And for me, that has become a far more important question. So this week I want you to spend some time thinking about your values and I'm going to do the same. And I don't mean the values that you have inherited or you have been programmed with from your childhood. And I don't want you to focus on the values that you've been told that you should have. I want you to think and focus on your values. values not somebody else's because when you know what matters the most life can become less about reacting and more about choosing and the more intentional your choices become the more aligned your life can become so until next time i want you to remember you don't need a perfect plan you just need a clear compass and your values might be the best compass you will ever find but the caveat to this is please don't rush it don't think you have to do this within ten minutes you might want to take a couple of days or a couple of weeks to think about what your values are and what that number one value is but please don't take too long i don't want you to procrastinate with it because then you might not finish the task and you might not know where that value is. So, yep, thank you again for listening. Make sure that you subscribe if you haven't already and share this in your contacts because you never know somebody who may be needing a little bit of guidance in their life. But thank you as always and I'll catch you next time. Bye. Thanks, Kim.
