Welcome back to this week's podcast. So one of the unexpected things about going through a major life event, or it doesn't have to be a major life event, I suppose, is that it forces you to reassess everything. Now, I promise you this isn't another podcast about cancer. And it's not just about what you're doing, but it's about why you're doing it. So the things that seemed important suddenly don't anymore. And the things you barely notice before start to become everything. And it makes you ask some big questions. So one of those questions is, what am I working towards? What actually matters? And perhaps the biggest one of all is why. Why am I building this business? Why am I working these hours? Why am I staying in this relationship? Why am I chasing this goal? Why am I saying yes to things that I don't even enjoy? Why insert the thing? Because here is what I think. Most people can tell you what they want. Very few people can tell you why they want it and because is not a response. So they can tell you that they want more money, they want a bigger house, they want a better relationship, a new job perhaps, to lose weight, to keep up with the Joneses, to build a business. to retire early but when you ask them the next question why that's where things can start to get interesting because often the thing we're chasing isn't actually the thing that we want so the money might really be about security The business might really be about freedom. And a giggle for that because... Being in business can be very, very hard, but we all initially think about it for freedom, right? The weight loss might be about confidence. So promotion might really be about validation. And if we don't understand our why, we can spend years chasing goals only to discover they weren't actually what we're looking for in the first place. So today I want to talk about your why and how to find it. and how to know when it's changed, because that's okay if it has. And why understanding it might be one of the most important things that you can ever do. So what is your why? Your why is simply the reason behind what you do. It's the thing underneath that goal. the thing underneath the achievement, the thing underneath the decision. And most people spend their lives focused on the what. So by that, I mean, what do I want? What should I do next? What should I buy? What should I achieve? But I think very few people... spend time exploring the why behind those things and yet the why i think is where that clarity lives lives lives my gosh you can so tell i've still got chemo brain sorry guys um because when you understand your why i think decisions start to become easier you know what to start saying yes to and you know what to start saying no to You know what aligns with the life that you are trying to create and what doesn't align with that life. And I believe one of the biggest traps in life is achieving goals you never stopped to question. And I'm sure we have all done it. I know I have in that we set a target and we work towards it. And we might make sacrifices for it. And then we finally get there. And then instead of being fulfilled, we'll feel flat. So maybe you bought the thing. Maybe you had achieved that promotion that you had been chasing. Maybe you built the business. Maybe you reached that income target. Maybe you finished third degree. Maybe you lost the weight. Insert thing here, whatever it is. And then you have thought, is this it? Not because the goal was bad, although sometimes maybe it was, and maybe I need to do another lesson on goals, but because the goal was never the real reason. And the goal was simply a vehicle. And don't get me wrong, sometimes we get to the thing and we don't acknowledge that we got to the thing either, which I think is another podcast. Again, sorry, this isn't what I mean here. But the why was always the destination. And one of the simplest exercises I believe that you can do is something and it's called the five whys. So take something that you want and then ask yourself why. And you're going to be sounding like that kid that answers everything with why, why, why, why? Because I don't want you to stop at the first answer that you give yourself. So for example, I want more money. Why? Because I want financial freedom. Why? Because I don't want to worry about the bills anymore. Why? Because I want less stress. Why? Because I want peace. So suddenly we discover that money was not actually the goal in the first place. The goal was peace. And once you know that, you might realize there are other ways to create peace that don't require endlessly chasing more, being busy for the sake of being busy without being productive. So I think you can try this with anything. So you might want to try this with a relationship. You might want to try this with a business. You might want to try this with a career change. It could be a fitness goal even. It could be anything. Keep asking yourself why. Be that child that just goes, why, why, why, until you can't go any deeper. So it might be more than five wives. It could be six wives, seven wives, whatever it might be. I think I just said wives then. It's meant to be wives, by the way, as well. Because as soon as you stop thinking about any other wives, that's where that truth usually lives. And your why is allowed to change as well. So this is the part I think we don't talk about enough. Your why can change. You have permission to change your why. And in fact, I think it should because it might not serve you anymore. So if you had asked me five years ago what my why was, my answer would be very different to what it is today. And it's not because I was wrong back then, but because life has a way of changing us. And you educate, like I'm continually educating myself as well. So you can also have experiences that change you, challenges. success in your version of success not somebody else's you might be losing something that changes you the mistake isn't why are why changes the mistake is pretending that it hasn't yet so many people keep pursuing goals that belong to an older version of themselves or maybe not them at all And a version of that no longer exists. And again, that is completely fine. But I think that's when you start to feel that you are disconnected, that you become unmotivated, you become restless and you might become stuck. Perhaps it's not because that you've lost your drive. Think of it this way. Perhaps it's because you've outgrown whatever that destination was. And I find myself recently asking myself lots of different questions. And, you know, it's not what do I want to achieve, but now it's more along the lines of how do I want my life to feel? Because when I go to answer that question, honestly, I believe it starts to change everything. It starts to change what opportunities that I now accept or don't accept, what relationships I invest in or don't invest in, what commitments I make and, you know, how I start to spend my time and what I'm very, very conscious on is how I spend my energy. And you know what? Achievement is wonderful. Success is wonderful. Goals are wonderful. But eventually there comes a point where how your life feels becomes just as important about how it looks, you know, probably even more important. And if you have been following me for a while, you know that I tend to choose a word for each year, but I'm pretty crappy at sticking with it. But it's still something I try, you know, the word that acts as a guide when I'm trying to make decisions. And I think this year's word, and, you know, it might not stay this year's word, it might change it as well, but at the moment it's peaceful. So it's not successful. It's not being productive. It's not being wealthy. It's not being busy. It's not that I don't value those things. But for me, it is peaceful and I'm focusing on my energy and what drains me and who drains me. And I'm really distancing myself from all of that. And what's interesting is that when I started making decisions through that lens, so many things become clearer. So some opportunities became obvious yeses. There were other things that was a very easy hard no. And it's not because that there were bad opportunities. It's not because they wouldn't make money. It's not because they wouldn't look good from the outside. But because they weren't aligned with how I now want my life. to feel and i think that's something many of us can start to forget we are often so focused on creating a life that looks good that we forget to create one that actually feels good and at the end of the day your why isn't just about what you're building it's about that thing is meant to give you and If what you're building is no longer creating the feeling that you're looking for, it might be time to reassess whether you're still chasing the right thing and you have permission to change that thing and you're not stuck. That is why understanding why matters so much because when you know what that why is, and Simon Sinek's written the whole book on it. I haven't read the book, but... People refer to it a lot, right? You're not just making decisions based on what sounds good. You start making decisions based on what aligns with the life that you are trying to create. So if you are feeling stuck right now, I would like you to consider something, please. So maybe you don't have a motivation problem. Maybe you have a why problem. Maybe you're trying to force yourself towards something your heart no longer wants. Maybe you're chasing a goal that made sense five years ago, five months ago. It could even be five weeks ago. Maybe you're living according to expectations that no longer fit. So before you start to push harder, I want you to pause and I want you to ask yourself, why do I want this? And if the answer doesn't excite you, inspire you or align with who you are today, perhaps it's time to explore whether your why has changed. So this week I want to leave you with one simple challenge, a little bit of homework. Pick one goal that you are currently working towards. Then I want you to ask yourself why. And keep asking why until you reach the answer underneath that answer. So be that annoying child. Why, why, why, why? keep going until you can't why any further because the first answer is rarely the real one the real answer is usually buried a few layers deeper under all those whys that you ask yourself and when you find your offer you often discover something powerful so it's the thing you're chasing That may not be what you want at all. Or it might confirm you're exactly where you're meant to be. So either way, you will have clarity. And I really think that clarity is a gift because life becomes a lot easier when your goals are aligned with your why. So until next time, I would like you to remember this. Your why doesn't have to stay the same forever. But it does need to be honest. And sometimes the most important thing you can do is give it permission to update the story you were living by. Or if you want me to give you permission, I give you permission. Because the life you built got you here. The question is, is it still taking you where you want to go? Thanks for tuning in. I'll catch you next time. Bye. Thanks, Jim.
