Every year, right around the week of Christmas, my phone starts ringing.

“Stacy, can you please do my will before the break?”

And every year I have to say the same thing: we’re closing. The practice is shut. And by the way, you called me last Christmas too. And the one before that.

If that sounds like you, I say this with love: this post is for you.

Why I’m so loud about this

I’ve been a lawyer for over sixteen years and worked in the legal world for around twenty. I ran my first practice for ten years, and I sold it right when I was diagnosed with cancer. So yes, I have now sat on both sides of this conversation.

Here’s what I know from living it: when life falls apart, estate planning is the very last thing you want to think about.

When I got sick, I was heavily into treatment, I had chemo brain, and I was exhausted. If my documents hadn’t already been sorted, I honestly can’t tell you how I would have found the energy to do it. Thankfully they were done, because I practice what I preach. Sometimes. Most of the time.

I started treatment the week of Christmas. Legal practices were closed. If I’d been heading in a more terminal direction, there is no way I would have got everything signed in that window.

So please, don’t wait for a diagnosis.

The three documents everyone over 18 needs

You don’t need to own a house. You don’t need a fortune. If you’re over eighteen, you need all three of these, and none of them is more important than the others.

1. A will. This one kicks in after you pass away. It tells your executors how to look after your estate the way you want. It can be super simple, and that’s completely fine.

2. An enduring power of attorney. I call this the business end of your life. Your attorney can pay bills, access bank accounts and sell property on your behalf if you can’t. And no, owning something with a partner or family member doesn’t automatically give them the right to make those decisions.

3. An enduring guardian. This is the health document. Your guardian makes medical and care decisions for you if you can’t make them yourself.

(I’m using New South Wales terms here, and the names change a little from state to state.)

Three stories I can’t forget

All details here are kept general, but these are real situations I’ve seen.

The couple who did everything right (almost)

A young couple had just bought their first home and had a newborn. We sorted their wills. We talked about insurance. They said, “Yep, we’ll get to that.”

Not long after, he was out fishing on the rocks, got swept away and passed away.

She was left with a baby, a mortgage and a small insurance policy through his super that was nowhere near enough. Legally, the house was hers. But she couldn’t afford to keep it, the property was sold at a loss, and I believe she moved back in with her parents.

They did the wills. They didn’t do the insurance. Insurance is just as important as the documents. (I’m not a financial adviser, so please chat with one about what’s right for you.)

The mum with a will and nothing else

A woman had a will but no power of attorney and no enduring guardian. By the time the family looked at it, she had dementia and no longer had the capacity to sign them.

When she needed to move into a nursing home, they asked for all three documents. She had one.

What followed was months of stress. There were problems with her medication, because the care team wouldn’t change it without the right authority in place. Her family had no access to her bank accounts, so the nursing home fees fell behind and she was close to being asked to leave. We had to make an urgent application to the tribunal, and it still took months. Even once it was approved, the person appointed had to be audited every year and justify the expenses.

All of that could have been avoided with two pieces of paper signed years earlier.

The daughter nobody mentioned

Her husband had done all his documents properly with me. After he passed away, I got a phone call from a woman I’d never heard of. She was his daughter, from an affair the family hadn’t told me about, because they didn’t think it mattered.

It mattered. It led to a family provision claim.

I ask my questions very differently now. I’ll say it plainly: please be honest with your lawyer. Whatever the skeleton is, we need to know about it so we can plan properly. Nobody’s judging you.

“But I’ve got time”

Maybe. Maybe not.

On the most recent episode, my guest Ash shares her story. Her husband went out for his usual run, was hit by a car and didn’t come home. He was twenty-nine and she was pregnant with triplets. It’s a beautiful and heartbreaking conversation, and I’ve linked it below.

Nobody plans for that Tuesday. That’s exactly why we plan.

It’s not morbid, it’s love

I know some people hate this conversation. I get it.

But having the chat now is so much easier than your family trying to guess what you wanted while they’re grieving. Think about it:

• Who gets the family heirloom you love?
• Do you want to be a donor?
• Buried or cremated?
• Church service or no church service?
• Is there anything special you’d want to be wearing?

Answering these is one of the kindest things you can do for the people you love.

Your quick action list

1. Check what you have. Do you have a will, an enduring power of attorney and an enduring guardian? Be honest.
2. Book it in this week. Practices are closing for two to four weeks over Christmas, and the calendar fills up fast.
3. Tell the whole story. Every child, every relationship, every complicated bit.
4. Review old documents. Married, divorced, had kids or had a falling out since you signed? Your will from ten years ago might still be valid, but it might not say what you want anymore.
5. Talk about insurance. Have the conversation with a financial adviser.

A question for you

What’s the one thing that’s been stopping you from getting your estate planning done? Is it cost, time, awkwardness, or the “I’ll do it in the new year” voice? Send me a message and tell me. I read every one.

Listen to the full episode

If this post stirred something up, the full episode goes deeper into these stories and the real-life lessons behind them. Press play, and then send it to the person in your life who keeps saying “I’ll get to it.” They might be annoyed for about five minutes. They’ll thank you for it later.

And if you’d like help, you don’t have to use me as your lawyer, but I’d love to help you take the first step. Book a call or send me a message and let’s get you sorted before Christmas.