Widowed at 29 and Pregnant With Triplets: What a Lawyer and a Widow Want You to Know About Estate Planning

Three days after her husband died, Ash’s family sat her down and asked her one question.

“Do you have access to the finances?”

She hadn’t spoken a word to anyone since it happened. But she answered that one. “Yes. I know where everything is. I built the spreadsheet.”

Her family was relieved, because they knew what’s coming. Bills still come out. Direct debits still run. And grief doesn’t pause the admin, no matter how badly we’d like it to.

Ash was 29. She was seventeen weeks pregnant with triplets. And she still had that one thing covered.

Most people don’t.

The conversation nobody wants to have

I’ve been a lawyer for sixteen years, and I’ve spent most of that time trying to get people to talk about death. I know it sounds morbid. I get it. Nobody is sitting on the couch on a Friday night thinking, “You know what would be fun? Let’s talk about our funeral wishes.”

But I’ve seen how this goes when it’s not sorted, and I’ve seen how it goes when it is. The difference is almost always the same thing: someone planned for the worst-case scenario.

In this episode, I sat down with Ash from Yellow Falcon. She’s lived this as a widow, and I’ve watched it from the legal side for years. Between us, we cover the whole picture.

What no one hands you after a death

After Ash’s husband passed, the funeral director gave her twenty certified copies of the death certificate. Ash asked what she was supposed to do with them. The answer? “Oh, you’re probably going to need a lot more.”

Here’s the part that really stuck with me. The funeral director holds your hand for about two weeks. After that, you’re on your own. Lawyers, financial advisors and psychologists each play their part, but nobody connects the dots for you.

So Ash did what any project manager would do. She built a spreadsheet. It ended up at 497 rows of tasks and phone calls, and she says it didn’t take the grief away. It gave her the scaffolding so she could actually grieve.

Nobody should have to build that from scratch while they’re in shock.

A will is only one piece of the puzzle

This is the thing I wish more people knew. When we say “estate planning,” most people picture a will and nothing else. But there’s so much more:

• Enduring power of attorney, for if you lose capacity
• Enduring guardianship, so someone can make health and lifestyle decisions for you
• Advance care directives, so your wishes are clear if you can’t speak for yourself
• Guardians for your kids, which is the one that stops a lot of people in their tracks
• Funeral wishes, because you really don’t have to have a church service if that’s not you

I once told a client she didn’t have to have a church service. She looked at me like I’d just told her she could skip gravity. She was so relieved. She wasn’t a churchy person, and she’d assumed she had to. Sometimes the “silly questions” are the ones that matter most.

And here’s a quick one on money. Sometimes the bank cuts off access, even to joint accounts, when someone passes away. Make sure you each have access to money in your own name. Little things like that make a big difference.

The “just in case” file

This is one of my favourite ideas from Ash. It’s a document that works like a map. It doesn’t hold your will or the nitty-gritty details. It tells the people you trust where to find everything.

Think about the stuff that lives only in your head:

• Where the will is kept, and who your lawyer is
• Your bank accounts and insurance policies
• The spare keys
• Who knows how the Wi-Fi works (yes, really)
• The storage unit nobody knows about
• Any licences you hold
• Your kids’ medications, if you’re the one who keeps track

Then there’s the heart side. Letters to loved ones, favourite stories, the things you’d want your family to remember. Ash said what she misses most isn’t the paperwork. It’s his stories, and hearing things from his perspective. That’s the part you can’t get back.

Don’t wait for a wake-up call

I can’t tell you how many calls we get from families scrambling after a diagnosis, or a parent in a nursing home who doesn’t have the capacity to sign anything anymore.

If you’ve lost capacity, it’s too late to appoint a power of attorney. If you’ve passed away, it’s too late to update your will. And sadly, it’s the same people who call us every Christmas, right before they travel, wanting it done now.

Which brings me to insurance. Ash and I both said it: get it in place while you’re healthy. I’m living proof. After my cancer diagnosis, getting new insurance would be incredibly hard.

What about the workplace?

Ash also works with businesses, and the numbers surprised me. She shared that roughly one in four employees is grieving at any given time, and around 1.1 million people in Australia are newly bereaved each year. Grief also sits within the psychosocial hazards that workplaces are expected to manage.

It doesn’t need to be complicated. Simple manager training and easy access to a checklist can make a real difference to someone’s worst month.

One thing you can do today

Doing this now is just paperwork. Yes, the conversation might be a little awkward. But it’s a lot easier than the alternative, and it’s honestly one of the most loving things you can do for the people you care about.

You don’t have to do it all today. Just pick one:

• Have the chat with your partner
• Jot down your wishes
• Book that appointment with a lawyer
• Talk to the people you’d want as guardians
• Start your own “just in case” file

Which one will you pick? Hit reply and tell me. I’d love to know.

Ready to listen?

Ash and I get into all of this and more in the full episode, including the part about her Medicare card that I still think about. Press play on this week’s episode of The Stacy M Show, and then send it to the person in your life who keeps saying, “We really should get around to that.”

And if you want help getting your own estate planning sorted, let’s chat. You can book a call with me below.

Meet Ash

Ashleigh Conwell is the founder of Yellow Falcon, Australia’s first fully integrated grief support ecosystem, and the creator of What To Do When Someone Dies.

She was 29 and seventeen weeks pregnant with triplets when her husband died in an accident. The flowers came and the lasagnes came. What didn’t come was a roadmap for the admin, the phone calls, the paperwork and going back to work while grieving. So she built one.

Today, Yellow Falcon gives practical help to people who are grieving, the people supporting them, people planning ahead, and the workplaces that employ them. Ash also speaks on grief in the workplace and what managers often get wrong.

Her work has been recognised by the Women Changing The World Awards, and she was named one of Inside Small Business’s Top 50 Small Business Leaders for 2026.

Free resources from Ash:

• 10 Things No One Tells You After Someone Dies
• Could They Find It?

Connect with Ash:

• Yellow Falcon links
• Instagram: @ashleigh.conwell and @yellow.falcon
• LinkedIn