You've Been Living by Someone Else's Values. And You Don't Even Know It.

Let me paint you a picture.

You wake up on a Tuesday morning. You have a full day ahead of you. Things to do, decisions to
make, people who need you. And before you've even had your first coffee, you already feel that
familiar heaviness sitting in your chest. Not tired exactly. More like flat. Like you're moving
through your own life on autopilot and wondering why nothing feels quite right.

Sound familiar?

Most people assume that feeling is a to-do list problem. Or a time management problem. Or a 'I just
need a holiday' problem.

But what if it's actually a values problem?
That's exactly what I unpacked in this week's episode of The Stacy M Show, and honestly, this one
hit close to home for me too.

The Real Reason You Feel Stuck (It's Not What You Think)
Here is the thing that most personal development conversations get wrong. They tell you that you're overwhelmed because you have too many choices. Too many options. Too much noise.
But that's not the real problem.
The real problem is that you don't know which choice aligns with who you actually are.
When you don't have a clear sense of your own values, every decision becomes a guessing game.
Every opportunity feels confusing. Every relationship can start to feel draining. And you end up
spending enormous amounts of energy just trying to figure out what to do next, instead of actually
doing it. That's exhausting. And it's also completely fixable.
 

So What Exactly Is a Value?
A value is not a goal. It's not a vision board. It's not something you put on your LinkedIn bio.
A value is the thing sitting quietly underneath every decision you make, whether you are
aware of it or not.
Some people value security. Others crave freedom. Some are driven by connection, by family, by
growth, by achievement. None of those are right or wrong. They just are what they are.
The problem starts when we live according to values that don't actually belong to us.

Whose Values Are You Actually Living By?
This is the part of the episode that made me stop and sit with it for a minute.
So many of us are out here working our hardest to live by a set of values we inherited from our
parents, our culture, our upbringing, or the version of success that was sold to us before we were old enough to question it.

Maybe you grew up believing success meant outworking everyone else. Maybe you learned your
worth came from being useful to others. Maybe you were taught that rest had to be earned, that
saying no was selfish, that asking for help was weakness.

And then one day you wake up exhausted and you think something is wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong with you. You're just trying to honour values that no longer fit the person
you've become.

There's a difference between your values changing and you failing. And it's an important one.
The Values Exercise That Actually Works.

In the episode I walk through a practical exercise to help you identify your values. Grab a pen, your
phone, or your Remarkable. Here's how it works.
• Write down 10 things that matter to you. Do not overthink it. Just write.
• Narrow that list down to 5.
• Then narrow it down again to 3.
• Finally, choose just 1.

That one value becomes your compass. The filter through which you run every big decision.
Ask yourself: if everything else disappeared, what is the one thing I would want guarding my
decisions?

It might be peace. Freedom. Connection. Health. Integrity. Family. Growth. Whatever it is, write it
down. Put it somewhere you will see it.

Your Values Are Allowed to Change. In Fact, They Should.
I want to be really honest about something in this episode, because I think it matters.
The version of me from ten years ago valued very different things than the version of me today. And the version of me before my cancer diagnosis valued different things to who I am now.
That is not failure. That's growth.
There comes a point in life where you stop asking how much can I achieve and start asking how do I want my life to feel. For me, that has become the far more important question.
You don't have to keep being a version of yourself that no longer fits. Values are not a life sentence.
They're a living document.
 

Key Takeaways from This Episode
• Feeling overwhelmed is often a values misalignment problem, not a time management
problem.
• Your actions reveal your real values far more honestly than your words do.
• Many of us are living by inherited values, not chosen ones.
• Knowing your highest value makes decisions clearer, not easier, but clearer.
• Values evolve as you evolve. That's not weakness, it's wisdom.

Questions Worth Sitting With This Week
What do your actions say about what you actually value, not what you say you value?
Are you living by values you chose, or values you inherited?
If you had to name your one guiding value right now, what would it be?

Ready to Go Deeper?
If this resonated with you, I would love for you to listen to the full episode. I go even further into the
values exercise, share what my own number one value is right now, and talk about what changed
after my diagnosis.

You can listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube. And if it lands for you, please share it
with someone who needs to hear it today.

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0EJTMw4hjHntnQqQTFnyq1
Listen on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-stacy-m-show/id1770676364
Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAhQgw6sVQvs-5VAz0lsIzQ

And if you're ready to get clarity on what you want and start making decisions that actually feel like
you, I'd love to chat.

"Sometimes growth isn't about becoming someone new. It's giving yourself permission to stop being someone you're not." - Stacy

#TheStacyMShow #KnowYourValues #PersonalGrowth #LiveIntentionally #SelfAwareness #WomensPodcast #MindsetShif