It’s Not the Meltdowns That Break Families

Here’s the thing: meltdowns get all the attention.

They’re loud. Messy. Public. They’re the big moments people see — the ones that make strangers in the supermarket stare or make you feel like you’re failing as a parent.

But according to Sharon Collin, ADHD coach and mum of three neurodivergent kids (and honestly, a powerhouse), it’s not the meltdowns that break families.

It’s the tiny, everyday friction points that no one talks about.

You know… the teeth-brushing battles, the 45-minute “put your shoes on” standoff, the “this shirt feels scratchy” meltdown just as you’re running late for work.

Those are the things that quietly drain your energy, your patience, and your connection with your kids.

The Hidden Stress No One Talks About

When you’re parenting a child with ADHD or other neurodivergent needs, every day can feel like walking through an obstacle course.

It’s not that parents don’t know these friction points are coming. It’s that they hit again and again… and again. And when you’re already running on caffeine and hope, one more battle over socks can feel like climbing Everest barefoot.

Sharon explained it perfectly: we tend to brace ourselves for the big, explosive meltdowns. But it’s the quiet, repetitive daily moments that wear down families over time.

And here’s the kicker — these little things are actually predictable. Which means they’re also fixable (or at least manageable).

Systems > Perfection

When Sharon said, “If your child melts down every single morning over brushing their teeth, that’s where we put our energy,” it hit me.

She wasn’t talking about creating a Pinterest-perfect routine or becoming some kind of super parent.

She was talking about building a simple system around the problem — scaffolding that makes those high-friction moments easier.

✅ Maybe that’s changing the time or order of the routine.
✅ Maybe it’s using visual prompts or songs.
✅ Maybe it’s accepting that some mornings will be messy — and taking the pressure off.

The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is to stop letting the same battles rob you of your peace.

Relationships Matter Too

This episode wasn’t just about parenting kids with ADHD. It was also about how these friction points affect relationships — partners, siblings, the whole family dynamic.

Sharon said something that stuck with me: “If the laughter goes, it’s very hard to come back together.”

When you’re constantly in survival mode, it’s easy to forget how to laugh with each other. But those little moments of connection? They’re the glue.

Meltdowns are visible. Friction is quiet. But both matter.

If you can start creating small systems around the daily battles — brushing teeth, getting dressed, leaving the house — you give your family more breathing room to connect, not just survive.

And that? That’s where the real magic happens.

Want to dive deeper?
This blog is inspired by my conversation with ADHD coach Sharon Collin on The StacyM Show.
👉 Listen to the full episode here  or book a free consult  if you’re ready to build systems that work for your family.